Twins!

I have been in major, major twin denial. I suppose I will have to face reality if we see two heartbeats on our ultrasound on Thursday. I definitely hope for two heartbeats because I don't want anything bad to happen, but at the same time, I am terrified of twins.

I am scared of having a risky pregnancy.
I am scared of having premature babies.
I am scared of not being able to work when I am pregnant.
I am scared of not being able to afford to have two kids.

It goes on and on and on.

I know that whatever happens, we will make it work. But I also know that in 8 days we will close on our new house in our new town, and in 10 days I will end my current job and need to find a new job in our new town. And I need to pack our house, move our house, unpack our house, and do all of this job business while cooking twins. Twins!

My wife took a slight pay cut to move across the state and switch jobs. She is much happier in her current job but wasn't making much money to begin with. What on earth are we going to do if a) we can't afford childcare, or worse, b) I end up on bed rest or something equally scary and can't work after a while?

I guess I will avoid reality for a little while longer.