Obrigado

This is just a quick "thank you" message for everyone's kind words, thoughtfulness, prayers, and energy. We are trying to take things as they come and get back to some semblance of a normal life. Jen and I decided that I would be couch-bound until our follow-up appointment on Tuesday and see what happens. Today, though, I took a shower. It had been two days, and it was so amazing to just do something normal like take a shower. I feel like a real person.

There have been a couple of instances of a scant amount of red blood since the big bleed, but nothing significant, nothing that even made it on to a pad. Most of the time it is the same old brown spotting that I have had for the last three weeks. I don't know if that's good or bad. I'd actually like to have no bleeding or spotting, thanks.

Most of the time I am paranoid that I have lost our other baby, too. I have no reason to think that, really - no cramping or excessive bleeding or clotting or anything - but I do. I am so scared and concerned. Part of me is excited for Tuesday for reassurance, the rest is terrified for Tuesday for bad news.

I am so tired of television and the couch and the not knowing. We just want to be mamas, dammit.